How might we, as parents, address the equality-equity dilemmas of child-rearing practices fairly?
Equity muses ask BHAQs about genderism
Conscientious parents ethically aspire to treat their children equally in age-appropriate ways and each child according to their different needs: in other words, with equity.
The vast majority of parents are not given any formal guidance nor training on how to address equality-equity dilemmas related to gender and race, other than their intergenerational experiences of their families that are shaped by cultural, political and religious indoctrinations.
The perceptions about equality-equity dilemmas highlight how family members may view fairness and favoritism differently and in turn what is perceived as (un)fair advantages and disadvantages.
For these reasons, caring parents struggle to develop fair child-rearing practices for their sons and daughters. "Fair" is the key word in this sentence.
As equity muses, we ask Big Hairy Audacious Questions (BHAQs) about fairness.
How might we, as parents treat our sons and daughters equally but equitably without genderism and sexism?
Gender binarism is the fundamentalist belief in two fixed genders at birth. This dichotomous thinking categorizes the sexes into opposite forms of masculine and feminine traits.
The machismo belief that men are superior to women perpetrates sexism toward women. The closed-minded, self-righteous fundamentalist belief in genderism perpetuates discrimination against LGBTQIA2S+:Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual and Two-Spirit.
How might we
Use a deeper and more complex understanding about gender to co-elevate the fairness of equality and equity?
Co-constructs the notion of fairness to address the bigotry and fascism of genderism?
Fairness is a cultural and political taboo. This taboo disables inquiries into the systemic isms that perpetrate and perpetuate inequities. The benefactors of this taboo are the elites who rig privileged systems loaded with unfair advantages and opportunities that serve their self-interests.
Fairness and favoritism are opposite sides of the same coin.
What does fairness mean to you?
Who and how do we define fairness, and for what purpose?
The advantage-isms of favoritism drives the privileges of unfair advantages and exacerbates the downsides of unfair disadvantages.
How might we reverse the cultural and systemic influences of sexism that set unequal and inequitable treatments of our sons and daughters?
Sexism and racism are the major systemic influences that drive inequalities and inequities. These isms are enabled by the forces of our ego-centric shadows and the dark sides of human nature, such as power abuses arising from the spectrum of pathological megalomanias, ranging from toxic patriarchy, authoritarianism and colonialism and to fascism, autocracy and totalitarianism.
The simple rule, "be kind and be fair to everyone", is the antidote to favoritism and the abuses of power.
On the level-playing fields of humans rights, people are treated equally. On the uneven-playing fields of unfair disadvantages, people are given the opportunities to rectify these unjust situations.
Equity is about giving each person, according to their individual needs, the opportunities to strive and thrive to their highest potential of healthy well-being.
The communitarian virtue of equity is about cultivating an abundance of diverse talents, capabilities and capacities to do good for the commons, humanity, the common good and the health of the planet.
Equity is about enabling people to cultivate the virtues needed to launch Equity Moonshot.
How might we cultivate our children's sovereignty?
The indigenous saying, children belong to themselves, is an apt reminder that parents are caretakers of their souls, and not the owners of their minds. Children are not empty vessels for parental impositions of our negative biases and indoctrinations.
How might we, as parents:
Better listen to children's aspirations and needs?
Empower our children’s autonomy to become open-minded. truth-seeking and virtuous free-thinkers who understand the limitations of indoctrination?
Raise our children based on cultivating virtues to work on the #EquityMoonshot quest?
This learning journey process begins with us, as parents and grandparents, understanding the distinctions between virtues and values. Typically, children implicitly assimilate what to value: the rank ordering of what is important.
In contrast, the development of virtues involves engaging our children about how to ethically think and learn about the virtues of do good. As parental guides, we enable our children to question what they are being told about values and how they are being told how to think about values.
How might we, as parents and educators, illuminate the egocentric shadows and dark sides of manipulative story-telling that distort our perceptions what is true and what is our sense of our reality and authentic being?
The Socratic process of inquiry involves asking Big Hairy Audacious Questions (BHAQs) to guide us on how we can ethically collaborate on noble causes, pursue ethical purposes and seek truth and meaning. This communitarian story-making process involves sense-making and sense-doing in communion with kindred spirits. This aspiration calls for moral courage, bold humility and vulnerability to question oneself in relationship to others, so that we might align our sovereignties to serve the greater good.
How might we:
Develop the mindfulness of self-reflection, self-awareness, the equanimity of discernment and truth-seeking needed to work on the Equity Moonshot quest?
Understand our differences in biases, perspectives, assumptions and values needed to build the middle ground needed for collaborative learning and mindsers transformations and systems re-designs?
Transform our mindsets, paradigms and theoretical frameworks to thrive on this quest?
Join an interactive learning community Zoom call on equity and cultural humility on Feb 23rd 12 noon EST. Organized by WITI.